On Being Vegan
A couple of days ago, I went shopping for some socks for my son who is traveling in Southeast Asia. He had asked me for Smartwool, which I was hesitant to buy — I don’t think that he was being inconsiderate. I think that it just didn’t occur to him that I don’t buy wool. He is not vegan.
So, I set out to try to find an alternative that I thought he would be happy with. As I was browsing in our local running store, one of the sales attendants approached me and offered some help. After explaining to him what I wanted, he directed me to the very same brand I had been thinking about buying. “They’re synthetic” he assured me. Being that he was an employee and probably knew more about their products than I did, I decided to go ahead and purchase the socks. It was a buy three get one free sale and so I was able to get a pair for myself. I left the store satisfied that I was able to find some socks that were good quality and also vegan.
That evening I decided that I would wear my new socks and go for a much needed run. Imagine my disappointment when I opened the packaging and found that they were made of wool/ mohair.
I spent a good amount of money on what I thought was a vegan product. I was going to wear them because I felt like it was a waste. I don’t like wasting money.
There is also the issue of honey and beeswax, non-vegan practices in the manufacturing and testing of products. I’ve made a habit of looking at labels on food packaging, clothes, shoes, bags. I think that most of the time I am able to determine what is vegan and what is not. Honestly, though, there are some things that are out of our control. For example, there may be insects that die in the manufacturing process that even vegan companies can not prevent.
This is what it’s like being vegan and running into this inevitability. I will not always be able to avoid those products that are not vegan. By some slip, some misunderstanding, some mistake I will end up purchasing something that is not vegan despite my efforts. And that’s ok. I am not perfect. The salesperson that helped me is not perfect. I think that he really believed that they were synthetic. He was trying to be helpful.
When I go to a family party, I don’t expect them to cater to my specific dietary needs. However, they try to be accommodating and I appreciate their efforts. But, for those family members who are not accustomed to veganism, it’s difficult for them to remember that not only do I not eat meat poultry or seafood, I also don’t do dairy. So, because they are excited to share a dish that they worked so hard on, I’ll eat it if I’m not sure what ingredients were used. I find out later that oftentimes it will have some form of dairy in it (usually butter). The idea is that I want to be thankful. To appreciate what they’ve done and that they are being considerate. To show them that I value their generosity.
Living in a household with eight members can get a little tricky when it comes to meal prep. Recently, my family and I created a matrix of foods that we like and dislike. Ingredients we’d love to have in a dish and ones that we would rather skip. It was long and varied. Three of our family members are meat eaters, and the other three are vegetarian. My husband and I are vegan. This complicates things further when we aim to make everyone in the family happy and satisfied.
When I first decided to become a vegetarian I decided that I would still cook those dishes that my meat eating kids liked. I was making two different dishes at meal-time. But, as time passed and as all of the kids became more open to trying vegetarian foods, I decided to talk to them about how tiring it was for me to have to prepare two different meals twice a day, everyday. They were willing to help by eating vegetarian at home and having whatever they enjoyed eating when we would go out to dinner. This made things simpler and made my job easier. Eventually though, we would transition into a fully vegan household and the restaurants we frequented were vegan/vegetarian as well.
In 2012, I became vegan. My family members would now have to give up cheese, eggs and milk. They were not too happy about this, but didn’t fuss. I wanted them to enjoy the foods that we cooked at home and so I set out to veganize those dishes that they loved. Cupcakes and other sweets were the first on my list. I thought that if I could show them that vegan sweets were just as good as non-vegan ones, that they would be willing to try other foods. Then, I decided to try making vegan fried rice since it was very well liked in our family. I’ve made vegan biscuits and pot pie, vegan nachos, vegan pizza and calzones, recently, Leo discovered a great vegan pumpkin pie recipe. The idea was to get them to be open to trying vegan foods.
We started to do some research and read lots of reviews of some of the better vegan restaurants in San Francisco — those that we thought the kids would enjoy the most. There are a number of them, and after sampling most of them, our kids discovered some that have become favorites. Places like Herbivore and Cha Ya in the Mission. We look forward to eating at those restaurants whenever we plan a visit to the city.
So, when our kids are at home or when we go out to eat, they are vegan. But, when they are at a relative’s house or out with friends, they are free to eat whatever it is that they find enjoyable. And that’s fine.
Sometimes though, it is difficult to try and find something that we can all be happy with. Most times we are able to compromise. The instances when we do not agree provides us with the opportunity to practice cooperation.
Being vegan makes date night much more pleasurable. Before I made the shift to veganism, it was somewhat difficult for Leo and I to enjoy the same foods. Now, we are able to share everything. It’s great because we often find that everything on a vegan restaurant’s menu is enticing. This means that we can order different dishes and have a sort of tasting menu from restaurants we love.
We try to keep a vegan household which means talking to friends and relatives about what to expect when they are visiting. It can be uncomfortable. This is something that I struggle with because I would like for them to feel at home when they are here. However, this is not a simple task. Sometimes family members are offended that I don’t go out of my way to provide non-vegan foods for a gathering. It’s not that I want to be rude. Rather, I see it as an opportunity to share with them a part of my life that makes me happy and could possibly be enjoyable for them.
I’m sure that these experiences are similar to those of many others who have made the decision to become vegan. So many different things to consider when you are vegan and in my eyes, worth every struggle.